


My Heart's in San Francisco

by AgentAlexKrycek



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M, Reunions, San Francisco, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:48:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29889636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentAlexKrycek/pseuds/AgentAlexKrycek
Summary: My Heart's in San Francisco by AgentAlexKrycekPairing: Mulder/KrycekRating: NC-17 M/M SlashDisclaimer: The characters of the television show "The X-Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the Fox Broadcasting Network, and have been used here without permission for adult entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words, stop reading here if you don't have a sense of humor.Timeframe: Follows the action in the "Anazazi".Feedback: Feedback is eagerly sought, but please be gentle and constructive. Please send any positive or constructive feedback to the address above.Author's notes: Word and Music Credit for "He's The Greatest Dancer" goes to Sister Sledge.Credit to Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Really Useful Company for the song "No Matter What"; Alain Boublil Music Lmt./Faber Music credit for both "On My Own," and "I Dreamed a Dream"; And for San Francisco author Armistead Maupin, who originated the idea of "the New Atlantis" in his wonderful series "Tales of the City." And, of course, to the real Nick (Joey Stefano) Iacona and Kirstin (and the Russian Dancers) who inspired me and will have my eternal love.Special thanks—To Francis, Troy, Stephanie, the real Nick and Christine upon whom all this is based. Thank you for all the adventures! I will always love you. Nicky, thanks for teaching me that the saddest words in the human language are 'could have and should have.' Your legend lives on.
Relationships: Mulder/Krycek
Kudos: 2





	My Heart's in San Francisco

My Heart's in San Francisco

  
**My Heart's in San Francisco by AgentAlexKrycek**

  
Special Agent Fox Mulder hadn't decided if he liked San Francisco yet. He was only in town for a couple of days as a witness in a disposition and, in all fairness, hadn't really seen very much of the bay city. 'It really is beautiful,' he thought as he left the courthouse and told a cab driver to take him to the Fog City Diner. Only after the driver was gone, did he realize there was a long line to get in. His eyes went upwards in frustration, and he found his answer blinking at him. Just across the street was the Hyatt Regency with its revolving restaurant perched on top. 'Might as well trade one tourist trap for another,' he thought, as he walked over to the pyramid shaped hotel. 

The atrium was impressive, but nothing compared to the glass elevator ride to the top from where one could see the city skyline, Alcatraz, the bay, the Golden Gate Bridge, and the San Francisco Bay Bridge to Angel Island. On the way to the top, Fox couldn't shake a feeling of dread. The cause came to him in a flash and he laughed at himself. These were the same elevators used in the movie "The Towering Inferno." 

Dinner wasn't the greatest, but Mulder realized he was really paying for the view. So he ordered a couple more drinks so that he could make the circle a few more times. By the time he got back on the elevator for the trip down, he was feeling pretty good. The doorman hailed him a cab and opened the door for him. Mulder wasn't sure how much to tip for 10 seconds of kindness, so he just handed the man a couple of bucks. He turned to the cabby and said, "Take me somewhere that's popular on a Friday night," and let the man do his job. 

The cab cut up Market Street as fast as it could go with stoplights every hundred feet. Just when Mulder was starting to get annoyed at the stop-and-go travel, they made a sharp left into the South of Market Area. The area made Mulder wonder if his doors were locked and his life insurance premium was paid. There had been lots of homeless people on Market, but this area looked even more abandoned and dangerous. Just when he was sure that he was being taken somewhere to be robbed and left for dead, the cab pulled over. Mulder had been expecting a nightclub, but all he could see was a long line of people, a spotlight, and a couple of bouncers. 

The bouncers would have been a fine addition to the FBI. Muscle like that was always in great demand. Mulder paid the driver and gave him a tip as well. The tip must have made the driver happy, because he honked the horn and gave a 'thumbs up' to the younger of the two bouncers. "Tell him that Tony said you were cool, you won't have to wait in the line with the rest of the cattle..." 

Mulder stepped on the sidewalk, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable as a hundred eyes looked him over to see if he was anybody. He caught the indifferent and jaded eye of the bouncer and repeated Tony's message. The message got him past jaded, and the bouncer just mumbled, "You're not really dressed for tonight there cowboy..." The other bouncer, attracted by the chance to show some muscle, came over. That suit's Armani, Bryce. He's okay." 

"Great, another fucking lawyer," Bryce mumbled under his breath. "They think they own the whole fucking city." 

"They do, Bryce," said his partner. To Mulder, he asked, "ID Sir?" 

Mulder flashed his badge, happy to clear up the fact that he wasn't a lawyer. Nothing normally surprised these two security men, and Mulder got a slight rise when he saw their reaction to his badge. Giving the ID back to him, the older and smarter bouncer asked, "You aren't packing tonight are you?" 

Mulder lied and shook his head 'no', and turned to go inside only to be stopped again. Bryce gave him his best patient smile and said, "That will be $40 dollars, sir." Mulder was sure that the distance his mouth had dropped open marked him permanently as an out-of-towner. 

He paid and went inside. It took a couple of moments for his eyes to adjust to the lighting, or lack thereof, inside. He had assumed that it was a single club he was going into, what he found were several bars around a huge dance floor. The entire space had been a warehouse which had been totally refitted to suit its new purpose. He scanned the place trying not to look too much like a tourist. He finally selected one of the theme bars to order a drink from. Tony had lived up to his word, this place was packed! It was an eclectic group of the famous, the beautiful, the weird, and the eccentric. It was one of those places where anything goes. Drug use was just barely hidden, and Mulder wished that he was not in his suit and tie. 

He wasn't on duty tonight. It had been months since he had just gone out to have a good time, ever since Alex had left with not so much as a word of explanation. Just when everything was going so well between the two. Fucking Alex! This was long overdue. He pushed the thought far from his mind. He wasn't going to go there tonight. He loosened his tie, pulled up to the bar and ordered a Long Island Iced Tea. Drink in hand, he wondered towards the crowded dance floor. If he had felt out-of-place at the bar, he felt out-of-date looking out at the dance floor. The floor split into several levels. The music was so loud that it hurt his chest. The spotlights, lasers, and fog machine made the place look like the set of a science fiction movie. Mulder half expected little gray aliens to appear from the thick mist. Dancers writhed all over each other in various stages of undress. Sweat-covered gym-addicted men danced with men, women with women, and once in a while, there was a man dancing with a woman. 

The music was strangely familiar, and it took Mulder a few moments to realize that it was a remix of an old song. He smiled at the memory. 

"One night in a disco on the outskirts of 'Frisco, I was cruising with my favorite gang. The place was so boring filled with out-of-towners touring, I knew that it wasn't my thing. I really wasn't caring, but I felt my eyes staring at a guy who stuck out in the crowd. He had the kind of body that would shame Adonis and a face that would make any man cry...Oh, he's the greatest dancer...Halston, Gucci, Del Arrucci, he looks like a still, that man is dressed to kill. Arrogance, not conceit, as a man he's complete, my crème de la crème, please take me home...." 

Mulder braced his back against a column and watched the show. A couple of drinks later, the show was even more entertaining. He hadn't ventured out on the dance floor yet. A couple of the bars' more adventuresome patrons had cruised him lewdly and lasciviously; a couple more had come over to stand by his column, only to leave in frustration when he hadn't paid them any attention. Something had already captured his complete attraction. 

Mulder's eyes were glued to the dance floor, actually, to someone on the dance floor. Every few minutes the spotlights would highlight one of the couples on one of the risers. Mulder was transfixed. His heart was leaping in his chest and he kept rubbing his eyes. His eyes couldn't be telling him the truth, but the truth was out there! 

The young couple was undeniably beautiful. Their movements seemed choreographed to the driving music. The woman was svelte, dark and exotic; but it was the young man that had captured Mulder's attention. He knew those movements, he knew that body. Intimately. The dancer was dressed in a pair of skintight kid leather pants and an expensive looking shirt that looked like a cross between silk and suede. The shirt was a perfect match for his beautiful sea-green eyes. The haircut was new and obviously expensive. Every few minutes, the dancer would toss the hair from his eyes or push it away with a free hand. If this wasn't Alex Krycek, it was his clone. All the feelings that he had been suppressing for the past months, exploded to the surface. Mulder didn't care. He had to find out who this young man was. He had a lot of things that had been left unsaid to the fucking traitor. 

The woman had just pulled his leather jacket off and was using it like a rope to pull him closer. She moved like a cloud of smoke, ever shifting and changing—the very essence of unpredictability. Mulder was across the floor in just a few steps leaping up on the riser. He grabbed the young man by his shirt and reared his fist back to deliver the blow that had been building in him for months. The grab had caught the young man off balance and he began to fall backwards as the two locked eyes. Mulder wished he had a camera to capture the look on that face as he prepared to knock him out. 

"What the fuck? Oh my god! I....don't...," was all the young man said as he fell back. The spotlight blinked out of existence, and with it went all of Mulder's certainty. No longer able to see clearly, he paused. 

Mulder wasn't sure what happened next. He was prepared to punch the man in the face; he wanted to punch him, needed to punch him. Instead, he pulled his body close, wrapped his arm tightly around his head and planted a kiss on those beautiful lips that he had missed for so long. The young man struggled at first, then started to respond, just as Mulder pulled away. 

Mulder released the shirt, shocked by what had just happened. He hadn't drunk that much, had he? The younger man slid to the floor. Mulder realized that they were now the center of attention in the huge structure. He could also see a couple of security people start to worm their way towards the strange scene. Mulder turned to leave. He could hear the frantic voice of the exotic woman as he walked away. 

"Nicky, Nicky, are you all right? Nicky, damn it, talk to me," she pleaded thorough an accent thick as San Francisco fog. 

Mulder had almost made it to the front door, when he felt a hand on his arm. "We have to talk, but not here." Nicky pulled him outside. "Bryce, could you get my car please?" 

Mulder was impressed, he didn't know that Bryce could move that fast. Bryce didn't have far to go, the convertible was right in front of the club. The sports car was a study in black; low and fast, with a black leather interior to match. "The alarm system is off and the top is down, just like you like it, Nick," Bryce said as he held the door open for the younger man. Bryce didn't hold Mulder's door open, but then again, Mulder didn't give him a fifty dollar tip either. "Thanks Nick, have a great night stud." 'Fifty dollars also bought manners and enthusiasm,' Mulder thought snidely. Mulder took a mental picture of Bryce's unhappy expression as the door closed. He had enough alcohol in his system that it all seemed very funny to him. He started to wonder just how he was going to explain his actions. 

He wasn't prepared for the acceleration as the car blasted out of the valet space. At first Mulder thought that the man was pissed at him, but that thought left his mind when Nick looked over and smiled and squeezed Mulder's leg. "I know I'm speeding, but this area of town makes me nervous. There's a gun in the glove compartment and another under the seat, Mulder, if anyone gets too close to the car." 

"It really is you, Alex, isn't it?" Mulder asked. 

"Yes, of course it's me!" Alex replied impatiently. "I don't know how you found me, but I'm really glad you have. I've missed you everyday, every minute. I know that you have a million questions, and I'll try to answer them all, I promise." The car turned from the Embarcadero into the Marina District and Alex visibly relaxed in the up-scale area. As the convertible cut though the Presidio, Mulder started to enjoy the ride. The streets were lined with trees and the breeze that was blowing off the ocean was intoxicating in its own right. After a few miles, the trees broke and Mulder gasped in surprise. The towers of the Golden Gate Bridge soared high above him; they looked close enough to touch. He thought they were going to cross the bridge, but at the last moment the car veered away from the bridge and followed the shoreline in the opposite direction. 

The stillness in the car was suddenly broken by an incessant buzzing. Alex gave and apologetic look and excused himself as he reached for the cell phone. 

"I really should get this, I'm sorry..." Casting a quick look at the caller's ID and the current time shown on the gold Movado on his wrist, he answered. Mulder listened in on the one-sided conversation trying to learn as much as he could about Alex's new life. 

"Natasha, my darling! Some bodyguard, it took you almost twenty minutes to call! No, sorry, Hun, I'm actually on the Presidio right now. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. Yes, I know. I owe you big time. (Pause) I'm okay. Really! No, actually, he's right here with me. (Pulling the phone away from his ear) Ouch, quit yelling, 'Tash! Hey, I don't know that word, you'll have to teach that one to me later...Hold on, I'll ask him for you..." 

Turning to Mulder, and loud enough to be heard through the phone, Alex asked in his most innocent voice, "Excuse me sir, but are you a crazed psycho-pervert?" Mulder's mouth fell open for the second time that night. "'Tash, he doesn't quite know how to answer that. No, I don't think I've lost my fucking mind. Hey, that's a good one! (to Mulder) She says I should look for it while my head's up my ass! Hopefully, I may have something more fun up there real soon. Am NOT! Takes one to know one, babe! Yeah, yeah, if I wake up dead in the morning, you told me so. Okay. Okay, okay, I love you back. Tomorrow." 

Alex gave a slightly nervous laugh as he caught Mulder's eyes as he cut the line. Mulder realized at the very moment why it had been so hard to tell if this was really Alex at the club. He had never seen Alex like this. He was happy and relaxed and the effect made him even more attractive. The lack of stress had erased the years, making him look even younger than he really was. 

The car entered a new neighborhood. Huge stone pillars announced the area as Seacliff. This area made the Marina look like a low rent neighborhood. Here the houses were huge and surrounded by walls. Some places, you couldn't even see the houses, just an elaborate gate that protected the occupants from the world outside. It was up to one of those gates that Alex pulled up, after pressing a button on the dashboard, a gate slid quietly out of the way, allowing the car in. 

The gate had offered no clue of what was inside, and what Mulder saw left him speechless. The house was low and abstract. Though new, it was obviously built by someone who had been heavily influenced by Frank Lloyd Wright. The primary materials were glass and black marble. Whereas the outside of the house was black and faded into the night, the inside was a blinding white. Whatever button Alex had pressed, had not only opened the gate, but turned on lights and opened the garage as well. 

"Welcome to my world," Alex said as they entered the living room. Like most of the houses in the Bay Area, it made the most of the available space. Built on several levels, it surrounded a central atrium. Natural stone, mirrors, glass, and plants mixed perfectly, giving the impression that the house had just evolved from the surrounding area. The few solid walls were a glaring gloss white. The bright illumination hurt his eyes at first. Vintage movie posters broke up the starkness, interjecting a vibrant splash of color. The furniture was leather, black, and looked sinfully comfortable. 

Mulder was at a loss for words, so Alex began. 

"I didn't shoot Scully's sister. I was there. But, I thought I maybe could stop..." he stammered. 

Mulder cut him off mid-sentence. Explanations could come later; right now he had more important business on his mind. He pushed Alex back on the couch, covering him with his own body. This time, Alex allowed himself to participate in the kiss. His arms pulled closer, as Mulder carefully opened his shirt. "You can rip it if you want to, Mulder, I have four more, the same color," Alex begged. Mulder was tempted, but stopped short of rending the fabric. "Not tonight. Tonight, I'm going to be gentle with you," he whispered in his lover's ear. Pulling back, he gauged the reaction to what he had said in the green eyes he knew so well. What he saw almost tore his soul. Love. 'So this is what love looks like,' he thought, as he plunged down to devour his lover's lips. 

A line of discarded clothing marked a trail, as the two wrestled towards a bedroom. On the landing where they had stopped in a naked tangle, Alex grabbed Mulder's face, locking their eyes together. "Fuck me, here, now! I need it! I need you so bad, Mulder. Please don't make me wait any longer." 

The simple plea inflamed Mulder. Pushing Alex down on the plush-carpeted stairs, he kissed a trail down Alex's back. When he got to the ass that he knew so well, he had to stop and admire it. Though things were familiar, they were suddenly different. Alex had obviously been spending his free time in a gym, and by the looks of it, a tanning salon as well. The slightest of tan lines left from a g-string was a huge turn-on. Like an arrow pointing him in the right direction, the white skin glowed in the dim lighting. He pushed his face between Alex's cheeks. Alex moaned hard and long. His hips ground into the stairway, taking on a will and purpose of their own. Mulder listened as Alex's plea became a mantra. "Please Mulder, do it. I need you so bad. Please, I want you to fuck my ass. Fuck me." 

Pulling away, Mulder surprised himself by saying 'no.' The word surprised Alex as well, and he turned his head to see what was wrong. "Have I done something, said something to make you mad, Mulder? If I did, I'm sorry...." Alex offered. 

Mulder gently placed his hand over Alex mouth, and smiled. "I want you to make love to me first. I want you inside me right now." 

Alex was shocked speechless. He was almost always first on the bottom. It was a routine that they had fallen into, and like most routines, had never changed. Mulder continued, "Nothing's wrong, just right now, I need this. I need to feel like I'm still a part of you. Do this for me, please." 

Alex didn't need to be begged. Standing slowly up, he pulled Mulder into the master bedroom. Taking over where Mulder had left off, his tongue mapped every inch of Mulder's body. Then, grabbing some lubrication from a drawer in the bedside nightstand, he prepared himself to enter his lover. Mulder tried to concentrate on the sound of the splashing water in the fountain that covered the corner of the room. The distraction only worked until he felt the head of Alex's cock enter him. It had been a long time. Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but it doesn't make things easier on your ass. He pushed his face into the pillow and took it like a man. Alex could sense his discomfort, and stopped. "Just tell me when you're ready babe," he purred in Mulder's ear. "Don't worry. I'm not going to be able to last long. It's been way too long for me and this feels way too good." 

After a while Mulder began to rock his hips, and Alex quickly caught the cadence. It was a perfect match, as they both worked to bring the other pleasure. Mulder reveled in the feeling as Alex pistoned in and out of his body. He needed to recapture the feeling of being a part of Alex's life and the physical connection was helping. 'Alex was true to his word,' Mulder thought as he felt the younger man getting close. He could feel the sweat from Alex face drip onto his back as Alex shot deep inside him, and something else, something he had never felt before. Tears. He could feel Alex crying as he came deep inside him, as he said "I love you so fucking much" in his ear. 

Mulder realized at that moment just what a hell hole Alex's life must have become when he ran. He had been forced to leave everything and flee with just his wits and the clothes on his back. He had to have been terrified and alone. His heart went out to him. He didn't care anymore about what Alex had to do to survive. He was just glad that he was here. The thought that someone had tried to kill this young man sent a shiver down his spine. It caused his protective instincts to kick in. 

Alex held him, almost too tightly, until Mulder felt the wet cock slide from inside him. Turning, he gently kissed Alex along one of the trails left by the fresh tears. Embarrassed, Alex tried to turn his face away, only to have it gently turned back and kissed again. The two met eyes as silent communications passed between them. Pushing Mulder onto his back, Alex reached for the nightstand again. Straddling the body below him, Alex lowered himself slowing onto Mulder's large throbbing cock. It had been awhile, and Alex had to take it slow. He didn't want to take it slow though, it felt too good. He was physically connected again to the man he loved, and that was worth all the pain and discomfort. 

Starting slowly, but building in speed and intensity, Alex arched his slender body taking the stiff rod deep inside himself again and again. Mulder leaned against the pillows and watched as Alex rode him. Damn, he was beautiful. The muscles played hide-and-seek just under his skin as the two made love. Something new caught Mulder's attention. Gazing past Alex, he caught their reflection in the floor to ceiling bedroom windows. The dim lighting in the room was just enough to turn the glass to mirror their reflections. It was the first time he had seen himself make love. He could see the two of them having sex and it was like an out of body experience. The sight took his breath away. He greedily monopolized the view for himself for a while until he let Alex in on it. "Want to see something beautiful?" Mulder asked as he turned Alex's face towards the window. Alex paused, the sweat running down his face, as he looked in the direction that Mulder was indicating. "It's like starring in our own porn movie..." Mulder went on. 

"You would know all about that, now wouldn't you, Mulder?" Alex playfully joked back as he resumed his motions. Once in a while, he would steal a glance at the window and adjust his movements slightly. Just like when he was on the dance floor, he would brush his hair from his eyes or toss his head slightly. Mulder loved the boyish quality the new haircut gave him. 

Though it killed him to do so, Mulder stopped Alex. He had a sudden inspiration. If Alice could go through the looking glass, then so could they. He pulled Alex to the window and slid the door open. Bracing Alex against the glass and metal railing, he entered him fiercely from behind. Alex had just a fleeting thought of the neighbors and how much, if anything, they were able to see. He was hoping that the neighbors were long asleep. Those were his last conscious thoughts as he gave himself up to the sensations pounding through his body. Their rhythm matched the soothing sounds of the crashing surf. 

Pulling out, Mulder turned Alex around. He missed being able to look into his eyes. Suddenly lifting Alex onto the railing, he was surprised when the look in those eyes was terror for just a second. Alex had dug his nails into his back and his legs had instinctively wrapped themselves tightly around his back. 

"Alex, don't worry, I won't let you go, trust me," Mulder coaxed. 

Risking a look behind him, Alex smiled a nervous smile, and said, "You're the one who taught me to trust no one. But, I do trust you. You might even say that my life, my fate, is in your hands, Mulder." 

As Mulder entered him again in the new position, Alex reluctantly released his arms, bending low and far across the railing. His ankles though kept a death grip behind Mulder's back. 

Alex's words had seemed very melodramatic and his current actions seemed reckless and risky. "Alex get back up here, you're going to get wet," Mulder said a little annoyed. This had been his idea, so he couldn't get too perturbed. He was met with the sound of laughter from below. "Everything will be clear in the morning; maybe you'll know just how much I love you." Mulder didn't know why Alex had picked this time to start talking in riddles. He was at the point of not caring anymore. Wrapping his arms around Alex's back, Mulder gave a huge pull. Gently lowering himself to his knees, Alex's body followed him over to the safe side of the rail. The momentum of the move impaled him on Mulder's cock, driving it to depths never felt before. Alex cried out. Pinning him between the glass rail and himself, Mulder lifted his partner's legs onto his shoulders. He lost himself in the hot, tight, smooth wetness that was Alex. Pushing their lips together, he savagely kissed the younger man. He wasn't living up to his promise of being gentle, but then again, Alex didn't seem to mind. Alex moaned in pain and pleasure as he let Mulder take pleasure in his body. Mulder could feel Alex's cock, trapped between their two bodies, start to throb. He knew Alex was close. A few strokes later, he felt the hot sticky fluid shoot between them, and followed suit. With an animal-like moan his emptied himself deep into Alex. The orgasm was incredible. He felt like he was coming for hours. It always amazed him at how much better his orgasms were with Alex, than by himself, or with anyone else for that matter. The two fell backwards into a sitting position on the balcony. 

"Come to bed," Alex said as he pulled Mulder up. Falling on the bed, the two wrapped themselves in each other until sleep approached. 

Mulder wasn't sure how much time he had left with Alex, but assumed that it wasn't very much. He didn't want to leave, but felt that, under the present conditions, it would be more prudent. "I'll call a cab. Don't get up." 

Alex grabbed his arm, and held him. Through the curtain of sleep that was closing on him rapidly, Alex said, "No, Mulder, stay. I can't lose you again." Mulder stroked his lover's hair until he was sure that Alex was asleep. The sex had been incredible, but it always had been with Alex. Mulder wasn't sure why he couldn't sleep. Alex wasn't having any problems. Finally he did sleep, but, it was restless and filled with dreams that he could not remember. 

Finally, he got up and wondered restlessly throughout the house. He opened drawers and closets, hoping to find out more about his lover. In the closet, he smelled the sweaters and the leather jacket, the scent was overpowering and intoxicating. It was Alex. 

The first rays of sunrise were starting to light up the living room, as Mulder crossed to the other balcony. Trying to be quiet, he slowly slid the floor-to-ceiling glass door to one side. The door slid quietly though, with no indication that it had to weigh hundreds of pounds. Mulder stepped out onto the balcony and braced himself against the railing. The view was incredible. 

A famous writer once wrote that the fog in San Francisco creeps in on cat's feet. What he forgot to add though, was though it may creep in on cat's feet, it then pounces and coughs up a huge hairy hairball of thick soup over the entire area. That part must not have sounded so poetic. The solid curtain of fog had just started to advance on the city by the bay. If the fog hadn't been there, Mulder would have been able to look out to sea—all the way to the Farallon Islands off the coast. The cliff-side road they had taken the night before was in view as were the tops of the twin art-deco towers of the Golden Gate Bridge. The glass door had soundproofed the house, but now Mulder could hear the pounding of the surf far below. He could smell the eucalyptus trees that surrounded the house. He looked down and fought the urge to jump back into the house. The balcony, with no obvious means of support, shot out over nothing. Though the ocean had sounded close, it was actually several hundred feet straight down. The effect was totally unnerving. He realized why Alex had looked so nervous and scared, and just how much trust he had put into Mulder the night before. 'As soon as Alex wakes up,' he thought, 'I'm going to kick his ass for taking such chances.' 

'Alex, you've done well, no wonder you left me,' was the last thought that crossed his mind as he started to cry. He wasn't sure how much later, but he was relieved to feel Alex wrap his arms around him. "Mulder, you're freezing, come back to bed." 

"I can't, Alex, I'm sorry," Mulder said weakly. 

"What's wrong?" Alex asked tipping Mulder's face up to meet his. 

"Who do you belong to, Alex? Look at this place! Fuck! Who's my competition, and how can I ever even hope to compete?" Alex started to laugh, until he saw tears had started down Mulder's face again. He stopped short and held Mulder's gaze for a long time before speaking. "He's very handsome and intelligent. Making love to him is the greatest joy you could imagine. He has strong ideals and convictions. He makes me feel safe and loved, though he can be moody and single-minded at times..." Alex began. The words cut Mulder like a knife, each one plunging deeper and twisting slightly. 

"Aren't you forgetting 'rich?'" Mulder asked sarcastically. "Who's picking up the tab here?" 

Now Alex did laugh, his voice cutting into the early morning air. "Everything here has been bought and paid for, Mulder..." 

"Including you?" Mulder accused with more venom then he should have. 

"Mulder, I was describing you," Alex said patiently. "This is all mine, well actually, it belongs to my alter ego, Nick. It also yours, if you want it. If you want to stay with me." 

It was now Alex's turn to wish that he could preserve this Kodak moment as he finally had the last word with Mulder. Mulder just looked at his ex-partner, his mouth doing a great impression of a fish out of water. 

"When I ran, I had certain things that I could sell," Alex explained. "Information is one of the most important commodities out there. Bidders kill for it. I also happened to know a couple of numbers to secret bank accounts. Funny thing about numbered accounts, if you know the access codes you can transfer funds with no way to trace where they ever went... 

"I was out of country for a while," Alex continued, "but came back here. Everyone always runs to San Francisco to hide. You were around in the '60's Mulder, you should know that. I met Natasha here. She and her Russian grandmother have been like a new family to me. 'Tash is a dancer with the San Francisco Ballet and her Grandmother makes the best perogies that you have ever tasted. No one here knows about my past life, except for the stuff I've told Natasha about you when she would worry about me being alone. 

"Mulder, if I had stayed with you—and I did want to stay with you, please never think otherwise," Alex emphasized, "my life expectancy would have been shorter than a gallon of milk in a car on a hot summer day. Not a day has gone by that I haven't wanted to pick up the phone and call you, tell you where I am. But, I knew that if I did, I'd put you in danger and blow all this. I haven't been with anyone else since you. I still love you." 

"Didn't you say something about coming back to bed...," Mulder asked. 

Mulder awoke a couple of hours later, to the strange feeling that he was being watched. 

Natasha gave him her best "cat ate the canary" smile. "What have you done to my Nicky, he looks so, ah, what is the word to use, whipped?" 

From the far side of the bed came a muffled giggle and drowsy, "'Tash, leave him alone. This is the one. The one I told you about...." 

The look in Natasha eyes changed as if someone had flicked a switch. "So you're the one that Nicky always talks about, this, what is it you call wild-dog-who-eats-chickens-in-the-night?" 

"Tasha, behave!" came loudly from across the bed. 

"Damn it Nicolae, you never let me have any fun," she complained sulkily. "Hello Fox, I feel like I already know you. Don't get up, or I will get to know you better than I already do!" She giggled at her own joke. "Nicky, at least I don't chase your boyfriends out of the house with a loaded gun...." 

Now Alex really laughed. "And, when have you ever had a chance to chase a boyfriend out of here? You really should explain that story to Mulder before you ruin my rep." 

Natasha turned to Mulder, "Nicky has saved me from many a bad date. If I'm having a horrible time, I leave my door unlocked. If I'm having a good time the door is locked. Nicky has the 'jealous husband' routine down perfectly, you should see him in action!" 

Alex was howling by now. "Remember the last one! He made it all the way to his car before he realized he was naked! That was a good one!" 

"So you better feel pretty special, you wouldn't believe how many people have tried to break Saint Nicholas here out of his vow of celibacy," Natasha quipped. "I have to say, I feel a slight pang of jealousy. No, wait, that's hunger, my mistake! Come on, I'll take you two lovebirds to breakfast." 

**Part II**

"I was thinking Sausalito for breakfast, but there's also Tiburon for brunch if you prefer," Natasha explained. 

"It's all new to me. What are your recommendations?" Mulder asked. 

"Well, I know this fabulous place for Eggs Benedict, but Tiburon has these fish tacos that are to die for!" Natasha threw out. She caught the look of brief panic cross Mulder's face. She smiled, "Sausalito it is then! I'll just let the two of you get ready. I'm going to hike down to the beach. Toodles!" 

That was one thing that had been bothering Mulder. In his explorations the night before, he hadn't been able to find the bathroom. "Okay, I give up, where is the bathroom?" 

Alex pointed in the direction of the Atrium. Mulder was still confused. "What am I supposed to do, find a plant to hide behind?" 

Alex laughed." Just make a turn at the fountain, smartass." Now, Mulder was intrigued. Turning the corner at the natural stone fountain, he was impressed by what he found. The Atrium connected to the bathroom. A huge mirrored wall separated it, creating privacy. The other side of the fountain poured down into a huge pond-shaped hot tub. The natural stone walls and lush plants gave the room the appearance of a tropical jungle. Putting the crowning touch on the room was a huge Tiki God which obviously hadn't come cheap. Mulder had seen smaller versions in museums, but this one was easily three feet taller than himself and at least ten-times as old. He felt Alex come up behind him and hug him close. "What do you think?" Alex asked, kissing the back of his neck. 

"I don't know, seems a little understated, don't you think?" Mulder joked. Alex touched a lever, bringing the lights down in the room. After starting the water, he poured scented oil onto small recessed pools built into the walls of the fountain. He lit the ponds with a lighter hidden on one of the ledges. Fire leapt up the side of the fountain, giving it the feeling of an erupting volcano. Turning one more dial, he pulled Mulder down into the stone pond. Mulder couldn't believe the sensations as water hit him from three different directions, as well as above. The side nozzles where turned down to a fine mist, and it wasn't too long till the bathroom had a feeling of a San Francisco morning. 

Mulder laughed, turning slowly around in a circle to get the full effect. It was easily the best time he had ever had in a shower. "This is fantastic," he told Alex a little too loudly. The words echoed in the small room. "It gets better," Alex said with a smirk on his face. "What's next, hula dancers?" Mulder asked. He watched as Alex crossed the distance towards him. God, he was beautiful. The water slicked the now long hair to his head and his body shined in the flickering firelight. Mulder took the younger man in his arms and kissed him. The kiss was long and powerful, leaving them both out of breath. Alex was the first to pull away. He still had the smirk on his face. Gently he pushed Mulder against the stone wall. Keeping their eyes locked, he dropped to his knees. Taking Mulder's cock into his mouth, he worked it to full attention. Mulder couldn't decide what was better, the warm feeling spreading through his entire body or being able to watch the look in Alex's eyes as he worked to bring him off. Subjugation was such a turn-on! 

Mulder wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. Stretching out his arms to grip the wall, he tilted back his head and closed his eyes. His hips began to thrust back and forth, and Alex had to restrain his partner slightly to keep himself from choking. The hand gripping Mulder's balls warned him of the impending orgasm. He knew he had done well when Mulder came. Mulder was usually silent when he came. This time, though, the groan reverberated through the artificial grotto. Pulling Alex up by his shoulders, his kissed him long and deep. He could taste himself in Alex's mouth. The sweet, salty taste just whet his appetite for more of the same. Sliding slowly down Alex's body, he took his hard cock into his mouth, making love to it with his tongue. He had just started when Alex pulled him back up. Kissing him again, he explained, "We don't have time, Natasha will be back soon." Mulder was disappointed, but realized that Alex was probably right. 

Alex handed him a towel and turned the regular and heat lights up to full. He blew out the small fires, and Mulder was sorry to see it all go. As he toweled off, he remarked, "I never had you figured for a Tiki God kind of guy." 

"He brings good luck and wards away evil spirits," Alex explained. "I should probably have ten more. I could use all the protection I can get." 

"You have me," Mulder said. It sounded lame as it left his mouth, but it got him a hug and kiss from Alex, so he was glad that he had said it. 

"Help yourself to anything in the closet," Alex offered. But, Mulder still waited to see how Alex was going to dress before making his choices. "Wear a swimsuit under everything, In case we stop at the beach. Also, you may want to get a sweater or jacket for later. It gets pretty cold here when the fog comes back in." Mulder realized why everyone in San Francisco had multiple personalities, it was the weather. 

Speaking of multiple personalities, Natasha chose that moment to come back. Entering from the balcony, Mulder realized that somewhere there had to be a stairway or trail leading down to the beach below. 

"Damn, Nicky, you should have seen the guy down there this morning! Family-sized kielbasa! Holy cow! I'm not a size queen, but I love to be impressed." When she saw that Mulder was looking at her like she had just said the whole thing in Russian, she explained. "Didn't Nicky tell you? This house is two hundred feet above a notorious gay nude beach. Well not all of it, just the north and south ends of Baker Beach; the middle is for families and tourists." 

Things just kept getting stranger and stranger, Mulder mused to himself. When all three were ready, they walked to the convertible. Mulder offered the front seat to Natasha, but she refused, preferring to be chauffeured. As she buckled herself in securely, she tied a bandanna around her hair and put her sunglasses on. Alex caught this all in the mirror and said, "This isn't the old country, 'Tash, you're much too young and pretty for babushkas! You're starting to act just like your grandmother." 

"Oh no, Nicolae," she said with a shake of her brightly covered head. "I know how you drive. I will not be seen in Sausalito with convertible hair!" Grabbing Mulder around the neck from the back seat, she-stage whispered into his ear, "The first time me and Nicky went clubbing, I made the mistake of getting into the car with wet mousse in my hair. By the time we got to the bar, I looked like the bride of Frankenstein! I looked like a weather vane all night. It was simply awful!" 

The car pulled out of Seacliff and onto Lincoln Avenue through the Presidio. This time the car did make the turn onto the Golden Gate Bridge heading north into Marin County. Mulder had been looking forward to this moment. This was one of the things on his to-do list while he was in the city. Nothing could have prepared him for the real thing. He could see the bridge getting closer, but he hadn't ever realized the scale of it. Pictures didn't do it justice. This was something that had to be seen in person to appreciate. Even before they were on the bridge, it was mammoth! Once the car got onto the bridge, the feeling of leaving solid land was slightly disconcerting. The views from the bridge were incredible. The San Francisco skyline stretched out behind them. As the first of the two towers approached, Mulder tilted his head back. It went up forever, challenging the clouds and defying the sky with its bright orange paint. 

Natasha leaned forward, and said, "It never gets routine, every time you see it, it takes your breath away. I think that's because its more than a bridge, it's a huge monument to what we can do if we put our minds to it. It's like imagination taking form. This is how the ancients must have felt when they would see one of the original wonders of the world for the first time." 

Every time she opened her mouth, Mulder liked her more and more. He could see how she had become Alex's best friend and confidant in so short a time. 

Sausalito was just across the bay from San Francisco, but it was a world away in style. Where San Francisco was skyscrapers and busy roadways, Sausalito had retained its small fishing village charm. Mulder doubted any fishermen still lived in the expensive area, but it was nice to step back in time. The waiter recognized Nicky and Natasha and gave them a window seat with a commanding view of the bridge and the city. Before the waiter could leave, Natasha placed an order for three Mimosas. Mulder felt totally indulgent and a little guilty about drinking the Champagne and orange juice drink this early in the morning, but it seemed to fit in this place. 

"So what do you prefer to be called Natasha? 'Tasha, or 'Tash," he asked during a lull in the conversation. 

"Oh my, Nicky! Where are our manners! We haven't been properly introduced!" Natasha exclaimed in mock horror. Nick did the honors. 

"Fox Mulder, the soon-to-be-famous-totally-infamous Natasha Rambova. Natasha, the love of my life, Special Agent Fox Mulder..." 

Natasha grabbed Mulder's proffered hand and kissed it. "Charmed darling! And in answer to your question, my close friends call me 'Tasha." 

"Just don't call her Kirstin!" Alex laughed into his drink. Natasha blushed at the mention of her real name. Giving Mulder an embarrassed smile, she admitted her secret, "No one will hire a dancer named Kirstin." 

"I know that name, isn't it the name of a notoriously beautiful, bi-sexual silent movie star, the second wife of Rudolph Valentino, an heiress who ended up minor royalty somewhere?" Mulder asked. 

Natasha was impressed, "Not too many people have seen through my nom de plume and my disguise. I'm very impressed," she complimented. "As for you, you little traitor, behave or I will tell him where we found your name, Nicholas." Now, it was Alex's turn to blush red. 

"Do tell, Tasha," Mulder begged. 

"Meet Nicholas Icon, a shortened version of Iacona," she let the cat out of the bag. 

Mulder wasn't familiar with this name, and said so. Across the table Alex was starting to squirm. "You probably know his screen name better, Joey Stefano." 

Mulder laughed, loud and long, causing Alex to turn an even deeper shade of red. 

Mulder was very familiar with the name. "Arguably the most beautiful porn star ever created. The first gay superstar, and the first superstar 'bottom' in the business," Mulder elaborated before turning his gaze on Alex. He didn't think that Alex could turn any redder, but he had. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, Nicky?" 

"I'm just green with jealousy over you Fox," Natasha suddenly exclaimed. "You know Nicolae's' real secrets; I just know the new ones. You also know something that I never will...." A look of profound sadness crossed her eyes for the briefest of seconds. Alex had caught it, though, and reached across the table. "You do know I love you, don't you? You should not have any doubts about that." 

"I know, Nicky," she said. "I know. Me too." 

Their intimate moment was interrupted by the sounds of an elderly couple from Kansas arguing at the table behind them. "I'm going to give that travel agent a piece of my mind when we get home. He booked us to Sodom and Gomorrah! Fire and brimstone! San Francisco is going to hell in a hand basket, I tell you." His wife tried to calm him down. 

A secret smile passed through the neighboring table, as they raised their drinks in a toast, "To San Francisco, the new Sodom." 

"Actually, and more precise," Natasha corrected, "It's the new Atlantis." She saw the incredulous eyes turn to her, so she continued making her point. "Atlantis was bordered on all sides by water, plagued by terrible earthquakes and illnesses, and featured a huge pyramid at its center to beacon people from afar. If that doesn't describe San Francisco, then I don't know what does. And, sadly, one day all this will disappear as well, the earthquakes and the seas will reclaim us, and only the beautiful legend will remain." 

Mulder was about to argue the point of the pyramid, but as he looked out over the skyline, he saw it. Gleaming blindingly white in the noonday sun, the multifaceted TransAmerica Tower could not be missed. From every angle it beckoned him to the city and all its wonders. 

Alex didn't want the conversation to end on such a low note, so he added, "Don't you watch Star Trek, Natasha? Four hundred years from now, this spot will be the headquarters of the United Federation of Planets. The bridge will still be here and property values will probably still be just as outrageous." 

"Excuse me, Fox, Nicky...I have to powder my nose," Natasha excused herself. 

Mulder looked helplessly at Alex. "She's never going to call me Mulder is she?" 

"I really don't think so, babe," Alex said with a smile. 

"I was thinking of introducing Mulder to the Castro tonight," Alex said when Natasha returned. "Wanna come with?" 

Nicky, I can't believe you forgot," Natasha exclaimed. "The benefit tonight. You've just got to be there. Grandmother will be terribly disappointed if you don't make it, and I need you there for moral support." 

"I did forget, I'm sorry," Alex said slapping his forehead. "Have no fear, we will be there. Mulder, you are in for a treat, you're going to see a real triple-threat in action!" 

Natasha blushed at the compliment. Alex explained to Mulder that in the theatre, a triple threat is someone who can dance, sing and act. 

"Are you a part of the benefit as well?" Mulder asked Alex, but it was Natasha who answered for him. "No, Nicky's just the philanthropist. He gets invited to all the best parties, that why I keep him around. Plus, he always seems to need a date. I really must be going, but you two stay and have fun." Kissing them both on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight. I'll just take the ferry back to the city. Ciao!" 

As she walked down to the pier, Natasha let out a laugh. An evil thought had just crossed her mind; she had just traded one fairy for two. She felt cheated. She would have to tell that one to Nicky later. She was still smiling at her own joke as she climbed aboard on the ferry. 

Alex paid the tab and Mulder left the tip and the two climbed back into the car. It was suddenly very quiet without 'Tasha. The car headed back towards the bridge. Instead of taking the turn off for the bridge or the observation area, Alex aimed the car into the Marin Headlands. The powerful engine in the sports car got a workout as the car climbed to the top of the hills on the north side of the bridge. Zigzagging back and forth through a series of setbacks and cutaways, the car finally reached its goal. The view was spectacular! From the apex, you could look down on the Golden Gate Bride and San Francisco. In the opposite direction, the Pacific Ocean glittered blue and gold in the midday sun. Alex found a place to park the car which wasn't too illegal and popped open the trunk. Grabbing a blanket out, the two started hiking farther up the hill. They chose a relatively flat area protected from view by some bushes, and spread out the blanket. Neither one had said much of anything, words just seemed unnecessary for some reason. Mulder lay down first, and Alex used him as a pillow. Mulder played with Alex's hair, tousling it even more than the wind already was. All Mulder could think was that this was life at its most perfect. He wished it would last. But a little voice mocked him, telling him that nothing perfect ever does. 

After a while, Alex stirred, turning over and looking up into his eyes. Running his hand over his chest, he asked, "Penny for your thoughts?" 

"I wasn't thinking," Mulder said dreamily. "I was just hoping that this didn't have to end." 

"It only gets better," Alex echoed his words from earlier. He took Mulder's zipper in his teeth and pulled. Mulder flipped him over, though, stopping him before he could go any further. 

"It's my turn, remember?" Mulder reminded. "So lay back and enjoy it. Or am I going to have to handcuff you?" 

"Hmmm," was the only thing that Alex said as he felt Mulder swallow his cock. He couldn't believe that the normally reserved agent was taking such a big chance. This made twice now that Mulder had made love to him outdoors, counting the night before. Alex wondered if he had a secret fetish, something they had never indulged in before. He locked the information up for later, and enjoyed the sensations as he climaxed. Mulder stretched up to plant a kiss on his partner. Touching their tongues together, he teased the younger man. 

"Do you like the taste of yourself on me, Nicky?" Mulder asked, catching him by surprise. Alex looked hard into Mulder's eyes trying to decide what he was up to. "What do I win if I say yes?" he tentatively answered. 

"I hope you know just how great this is for me." Mulder played with him. "I'm having an affair with two different people, and not being unfaithful to the one that I love. How much more perfect could that be? Twice the sex, twice the possibilities. It boggles the mind." 

"I think the heat has boggled your mind. Get dressed and we'll go cool down," Alex chastised. "I think that you're enjoying this just a little too much." 

After packing up the blanket, the car took the less scenic drive down the far side of the hills to Stinson Beach. There on the dark sand, the two frolicked in the waves until the sun started to get low in the sky and the fog started to roll in again. 

As they got back into the car, Alex stopped Mulder. He just stared at him for a minute until Mulder got self-conscious and told him to stop. "Penny for your thoughts, Alex," Mulder said sarcastically. He wasn't prepared for the honest answer. "I've always loved you in a red Speedo. I was secretly hoping you would wear that today," Alex admitted. "I think I first knew I wanted you, really wanted you, the first time I saw you get out of that pool wearing one my first day as your partner. I would fantasize about you and the way you looked that day." 

Mulder pulled him close and whispered in his ear before kissing him, "You were the reason I was bulging so badly in that suit. I was hoping that you hadn't noticed." 

The car headed back into the city. 

After cleaning up and donning tuxedoes for the benefit that night, the two admired themselves in the mirror. "We look like a couple of deranged penguins, or like we should be on a wedding cake," Mulder moaned. 

"If that's a proposal, you should be on your knees," Alex joked. 

"If I get on my knees, you're not getting out of this house in time for your benefit," Mulder threw back. 

"We really do make a good couple," Alex said. 

"Are we really going to the Castro after the benefit dressed like this?" Mulder questioned, knowing the attention that it would attract. 

"What's really bothering you?" Alex asked, seeing through him. 

"I don't know. It just seems so gay," Mulder said. 

Alex just laughed at his misery. "Tell me something, Mulder, when you were fucking me silly last night and your cock was inside me, wasn't that gay?" 

"I've never thought of us like that," Mulder said, digging his hole deeper. 

Alex was really amused by now. "I see, we're just two straight guys who happen to love each other and fuck each other's brains out whenever we're together." 

"Well, yeah," Mulder said sticking to his position. 

"I'm so glad that you straightened that out for me." Alex was still laughing as they left the house. Mulder wondered just where and when he had lost the argument. 

The San Francisco Symphony Hall was packed. Nothing turned out the crowds like a good cause. All money raised that night would go to victims of hate crimes, and the community had turned in droves to lend their full support. Alex gave the keys to the valet and took the claim check. The stairs leading up to the entrance were lined with people holding a candlelight vigil, and it gave the event a spiritual touch. Mulder followed Alex's lead. It was slow going. Every few steps, Alex would get stopped. Mulder wondered just how much handshakes, kisses and schmoozing one person could stand. At each stop, Alex would introduce him. He heard Alex say his name after saying, "I'd like to introduce someone very special to me," and it made him feel incredible every time. Finally, they reached the safety and blissful isolation of the opera box. Now there was just one more person to contend with. 

Natasha's grandmother was a dynamo. Small and feisty, just like her granddaughter, her presence and personality filled the room. "Nicky, I was worried you wouldn't get here in time. It's so good to see you my boy. You're still too skinny though. Well, now that you're in love, maybe you'll gain some weight." She turned her attention to Mulder. "You must be Fox. Kirstin told me all about you. I hope you know what a special boy you have there. You treat him good or you will have to deal with me." 

"Yes ma'am, I know that ma'am," was all that Mulder could say. 

"You're too skinny also," Grandma complained. "Gracious, doesn't anyone eat anymore? In my day, eating was a good thing, something to be enjoyed, not avoided and feared. Youngsters today look like refugees. I walk down the street wanting to give them a pork chop. I want to tie you both up and force you to eat a hot homecooked meal." 

"You don't know just how good that sounds," Mulder said. "It has been so long since I've had anything but my own cooking and takeout. I would really love that." 

It had been the perfect thing to say, Mulder had won her over in a sentence. 

The lights dimmed and the orchestra began to tune. The three took their seats. 

A single spotlight lit the darkness as Natasha made her way on stage. Mulder was struck by just how much of a chameleon she really was. Her hair was swept up and almost severe. She wore a simple long black dress that on someone else would be considered plain. On her the effect was stunning, she looked older and elegant. 

Judging by the applause in the hall, Mulder realized that this was someone pretty well known and loved in the community. Then her personality shined through. With a small wave, she welcomed the audience, thanking them for coming out and supporting a cause so close to her heart. She talked of recent examples of violence in the Bay Area and nationwide. She then caught Mulder by surprise. "I'd like to dedicate this night to them, and also to those in the audience tonight in love. I have two friends out there tonight celebrating a reunion, finding each other against all odds. This song is for them, and for all those still searching..." Mulder felt himself turn crimson as Grandma pulled him and Alex together from the seat behind theirs. 

Natasha's voice started low but grew in power until it filled the auditorium. Mulder was surprised that a voice so sure and strong, so powerful, could come from someone so small. She had a uncanny ability to connect to a audience. He felt as she was singing each word directly to him. He let the music carry him away. 

__

No matter what they tell us  
No matter what they do  
No matter what they teach us  
What we believe is true 

No matter what they call us  
however they attack  
No matter where they take us  
We'll find our own way back 

I can't deny what I believe  
I can't be what I'm not  
I know our love's forever  
I know, no matter what 

If only tears were laughter  
If only night was day  
If only prayers were answered,  
then we would hear God say 

No matter what they tell you  
No matter what they do  
No matter what they teach you  
what you believe is true 

And I will keep you safe and strong  
and shelter you from the storm  
no matter where it's barren  
our dream is being born 

No matter who they follow  
No matter where they lead  
No matter how they judge us  
I'll be everyone you need 

No matter if the sun don't shine  
or if the sky's are blue  
No matter what the ending  
my life began with you 

I can't deny what I believe  
I can't be what I'm not  
I know this love's forever  
that's all that matters now  
no matter what 

That's all that matter to me,  
no matter what. 

At every level, each of the words struck a chord with Mulder and he looked over to Alex to see if the song had the same effect on him. Obviously it had. Tears clouded Alex's eyes as he smiled back. 

Several acts followed, including comedians, musicians and other singers, but it was very clear who the hometown favorite was for the audience. 

Natasha had the honor of opening and closing the event. Her second choice for the night was much more dramatic. She had chosen two selections from "Les Misérables," tying them together into one piece. The piece was perfectly suited to her talents. She walked slowly out on stage cloaked in somber grays and blacks. Looking like someone who had been beaten down by life, a far cry from the beautiful image earlier. At first, Mulder didn't even recognize her, until she opened her mouth to sing. As she began to sing and move, Mulder couldn't help but be reminded of the landmark work done by Martha Graham. 

_There was a time when men were kind,  
when their voices were soft and their words inviting.  
There was a time when love was blind,  
and the world was a song and the song was exciting.  
There was a time when it all went wrong. _

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,  
when hope was high and life worth living,  
I dreamed that love would never die,.  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving. 

Then I was young and unafraid,  
and dreams were made and used and wasted,  
there was no ransom to be paid.  
No song unsung, no wine untasted, 

But the tigers come at night  
with their voices soft as thunder  
as they tear your hope apart  
as they tear your dream to shame. 

He slept a summer by my side  
he filled my days with endless wonder  
he took my childhood in his stride  
but he was gone when autumn came 

And still I dream he'll come to me  
that we will live the years together.  
but there are dreams that cannot be  
and there are storms we cannot weather. 

I had a dream my life would be  
so different from this hell I'm living  
so different now from what it seamed  
now life has killed the dream I dreamed. 

The music suddenly built in volume and tempo, taking on a more upbeat feeling. As the music rose in spirit, Natasha danced. Mulder remembered the first night he had seen her at the club with Alex. He had thought she moved like smoke in the wind. The effect was intensified now that she had no restraints on space. She shed the layers of drab clothing as she covered the stage with spins and stances that defied gravity. When the music had resumed, she stood wearing just a short tight dress made of a holographic materiel. As the bright colorful spotlights hit her, the dress transformed into a rainbow of color. The effect was blinding and beautiful. It was as if a disco ball had suddenly come to life and descended on to the dance floor to join the dancers. Her voice began again, and Mulder wondered how she still had any breath left to sing. 

_Own my own, pretending he's beside me,  
all alone, I walk with him till morning  
without him, I feel his arms around me  
and when I lose my way,  
I close my eyes and he has found me. _

In the rain, the pavement shines like silver  
all the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
and all I see is him and me forever and forever 

And I know that it's only in my mind  
that I'm talking to myself and not to him  
and although I know that he is blind  
still I say there is a way for us 

I love him, but when the night is over  
he is gone, the river's just a river,  
without him the world around me changes  
the trees are bare and everywhere  
the streets are full of strangers 

I love him, but everyday I'm learning  
all my life, I've only been pretending,  
without me his world will go on turning  
a world that full of happiness that I have never known  
I love him, I love him, I love him...  
But only on my own. 

Mulder looked over at Alex again, he could see that this song had really touched him as he led the standing ovation along with Natasha's Grandmother. Mulder had a sneaking suspicion that even though there were thousands of people in the audience that night, the music had been selected with just one person in mind. The applause went on long enough for Alex to throw down the two dozen roses he'd had delivered to the box, one at a time. Between claps, Alex leaned closer to Mulder and yelled, "I told you she was something, didn't I?" 

Mulder waved back to the kiss that Natasha threw towards their balcony, and resumed his applause. The feeling of family was almost overwhelming, and Mulder understood why Alex had fallen in love with this city and its people. 

When the auditorium started to empty, Mulder and Alex assisted Grandma backstage where Natasha was waiting. She hugged her Grandmother tightly and was covered with kisses in the process. The two spoke rapidly in Russian, before letting each other go again. Next, she took Alex and Mulder into an embrace, kissing them both on the cheek. From this distance, Mulder could see the toll the seemingly effortless performance had taken. Her hair was still wet and disheveled, her make-up was running, and she was still slightly out of breath, but she still looked radiant. Alex tried one more time to get her to join them in the Castro, but the answer was still no. She still had to clean up, and Grandma had promised a special dinner. She whisked them all out the door. Mulder and Alex made sure that the elderly woman was safely in a cab before reclaiming their car. 

**The Castro**

As promised, the next stop on Mulder's tour of San Francisco was the Castro-the Gay Mecca. After a short drive up Market Street, Alex made a sharp left onto Castro Street. The first thing that Mulder was struck by was the size. He had imagined the Castro District as being much bigger after all the stories that he had heard but, in truth, you could clearly see from one end to another. Not even a mile in length, the famous street was covered with trendy galleries, restaurants, shops, bookstores, bars, nightclubs, and the famous theater that reflected the name of the area. Parking as usual was a bitch, and it took several drives up and down the area until a space opened. Of course it was on the other side of the street, so Alex broke several traffic laws with an illegal u-turn to nab the space. 

"You ready for this?" Alex asked with a smile. Mulder was starting to feel stranger hiding in the car, than he thought he would feel out of it. It was like being in a wild animal preserve. He quickly jumped out of the car and joined Alex on the sidewalk. He had been nervous they would attract undo attention walking around in tuxes, however the attention that they were getting was no more that any other couple of gorgeous men would have gotten into the Castro. 

Mulder was starting to see some of the things that set this area apart from the rest of the city. If you were just passing from one area of town to another, you could easily mistake this for just another one of San Francisco's quaint little neighborhoods. But on closer inspection, you would see that it was a world apart. The first thing that hit him was the proliferation of rainbow flags of all shapes and sizes hanging from lamp posts, balconies and shop fronts. The next thing he noticed was the target of advertising. Whereas mainstream America is bombarded with ads with sexy female models hocking everything from toothpaste to power tools, here the tables were turned: Male models reached out to a male audience and female models to a female audience. Same sex couples would pass them hand-in-hand or arm-in-arm. They passed two young men kissing in front of one of the bars, oblivious to all around them. Mulder felt a sexual rush race through him as his mind contemplated what the two would be doing later that night. The thought made him smile and move closer to Alex. Alex noticed the change in proximity and bumped their shoulders together. Sexuality was out in the open and everywhere he looked. Sexually explicit cards and artwork hung in windows, right along side sex toys and clothing of every size and shape. Mulder didn't feel that he was a prude, but he could feel his mind doing back flips at every new stop. 

Finally, grabbing Alex by the jacket, he pulled him into the next bar he saw. "I think I need a drink!" he exclaimed. Alex started to laugh before commenting. " You might want to work your way up slowly to this bar, Mulder...." He slowly turned Mulder around. As his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, Mulder noticed the patrons who were wearing clothing, were leaning towards leather. Everywhere he looked men were in chest harnesses, leather pants and chaps. It took him several moments to realize that he was staring, and even longer to realize that the look was being returned. He suddenly felt like a duck on the first day of hunting season. He turned to leave, only to have his way blocked by one of the bar's beefier patrons. 

"Where you going in such a rush there, pretty boy? Why don't you two stay a while and let us buy you a drink? You're so cute." 

Mulder knew that he didn't like being called 'cute' or 'pretty.' Film clips from Deliverance were starting to roll in an endless loop in his mind. He looked to Alex for help, only to find that he was having too much fun with the situation to be of any assistance. He surrendered and headed towards the bar with their new friend. 

After one screwdriver, Mulder was feeling better, after two he was starting to relax, and after three, he was having fun. 

"So what shall we call you?" Mulder asked, trying to be polite. 

"The man looked Mulder in the eyes and said, "Master, will do just fine." 

It took a couple of seconds for the name to sink through the alcohol-induced cloud in Mulder's brain, but when it did, he erupted with laughter. Mulder tried to make amends by giving the man a compliment. "I like your 'bracelet' thing." Grabbing the chrome ring on his open vest. The man looked at Mulder with a grin, before asking, "We don't know each other well enough for you to be playing with my cockring, do we?" Mulder pulled away his fingers as if the object had just produced an electric current. 

"Sorry, my bad," Mulder stammered. Behind him, he could hear Alex giggling hysterically. Mulder thought that it was about time to turn the tables. So he asked in his most innocent voice, "Where could I get me one, only bigger?" 

He now had the man's undivided attention. He had also stopped Alex in mid-chortle. 

"Bigger? This is as big as they come, boy," the man said entering Mulder's game. 

"I don't know, that looks kind of tight," Mulder repeated. Now it was the man's turn to laugh. 

"Tell you what boy, if you can fill this out, you can have it!" He took note of Mulder's hesitation and added. "Don't worry that one's brand new, I just bought it today." He unclipped a leather loop and handed the ring to Mulder. Mulder turned to look at Alex and was happy to see that his eyes were popping out of his head. 

"Come along, slave boy, you can give me a hand," Mulder said as he pulled Alex into the bathroom by his now open tie. 

"I don't know how to put this on. Do you?" Mulder asked once they were alone. Alex didn't need to be asked twice. Maneuvering Mulder into one of the stalls, he unzipped his pants and lowered them. Mulder was already starting to bulge in his underwear, and Alex quickly chastised him. "If you get hard, you're not going to be able to get this on." 

"I can't help myself, you feel so good," Mulder groaned. 

Alex realized that he wasn't going to be able to stop the inevitable, and just decided to race it. Slipping the ring over Mulder's cock he reached behind to pull one testicle then the other through the wide, heavy chrome loop. It had happened so fast that Mulder had barely noticed the discomfort. It felt really good on him and he looked proudly down at it. "Now what does it do?" 

"Well the story goes that it's supposed to prolong you and make you bigger by restricting the return blood flow, " Alex explained, running his hand slowly up and down Mulder's shaft. "I can feel part of that is true already. I can't wait to find out about the rest." 

Alex leaned over to give the throbbing head a kiss, and then placed a kiss on Mulder's lips. Mulder was packing himself back into his pants. 

As they returned to the bar, the man asked "Are you ready to pay up?" To which Mulder replied, "Sorry man, you're looking at the new owner." Mulder thrust his groin forward to allow the man to check him. As the stranger's hand slid slowly down the front of his pants, Mulder felt his pulse race at the erotic new thrill. Having a stranger touch him so intimately in such a public place provided a whole new kind of sexual excitement. He noticed a brief look cross Alex's face and realized that it was jealousy. He gave him his most reassuring smile. That fact that Alex was jealous made him feel surprisingly good. 

"All right, buddy, you win!" the man acquiesced. "That's some piece of equipment you have there. Would you two be interested in a threeway? I'd love to be a part of this action." 

Mulder moved closer to Alex, placing his arm around him. "Thanks, but we're exclusive. Hate to win and run, but we have to go. I'm going to take this ring on a test drive." 

Mulder felt Alex blush in the dark bar as they turned for the door. He kept his arm around the younger man as they walked down the street. Mulder didn't know if it was the alcohol, but he now noticed the men watching them. Noting him, and his newly enhanced package. 

Alex wasn't oblivious to all the attention either, and finally said, "You're having way too much fun with that damn cockring. I'm not sure that the world is ready for this. I feel like Doctor Frankenstein after he realized he had created a monster...." 

Mulder dropped back behind Alex, pressing himself against the younger man. He whispered in his ear, "It's alive. It's alive!" 

Alex turned to face Mulder. Before he could say, "I'm going to take you home," Mulder pushed him against the first wall they came to and kissed him. There under the bubbles produced by a bubble machine, they kissed forever. 

After being allowed to breathe again, Alex asked, "Are you hungry, Mulder?" 

"Ummm, ravenous," Mulder answered biting Alex's lip lightly. 

"I meant for food." Alex had to fight to make the words understandable with his lip still held prisoner. 

Mulder reluctantly released the lip, and Alex grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street. "Trust me?" Alex asked as they entered the small pizza parlor. 

"When in Rome...." Mulder answered. 

Alex came back from the counter with two of the largest pizza slices Mulder had ever seen. The topping didn't look familiar though. It was green and slimy, and oil dripped freely from the slices. 

"What kind of alien secretion is that?" Mulder asked incredulously. He couldn't believe that Alex was actually going to ask him to put it in his mouth. 

"Come on, it's pesto. It's wonderful! You have to try it," Alex pleaded. 

"After you," Mulder said. 

Alex folded his piece in half, keeping the oil from running everywhere. He took a huge mouthful. His eyes rolled in happiness. 

Mulder followed the ritual. He tentatively took a sniff before popping it in his mouth. He hated to admit it, but it smelled really good. As he bit down, the flavor exploded in his mouth. Alex waited expectantly. "Well, Mulder, what do you think?" Mulder could only say one word at a time. "More...now...God! 

Alex motioned to the girl at the counter for two more for the road. As the two got into the car, Mulder was trying to open the to-go box. "Hold on, there's more," Alex said, pulling the food out of Mulder's reach. Turning down the palm tree-lined Market Street, they arrived soon at the next destination. The small restaurant sat right on the street and Alex miraculously found parking right in front. This one had chairs and tables, which Mulder grabbed while Alex placed an order at the counter before a waiter could help them. Alex joined Mulder, hauling two soft drinks. 

"What did you order?" Mulder quizzed. "It's not green again, is it?" 

"Nope. Red, my favorite color..." Alex answered. Within minutes, a huge dish was in front of them. Mulder hadn't expected French fries. "French fries, there not just for breakfast anymore...What is it with you Russians and potatoes?" Mulder joked. He sniffed the food again, to see why they were red. He could smell a mix of spices on them. The predominate spice was red chili powder, garlic and paprika. He dipped the potato wedge in the Ranch dressing provided, and tentatively took a bite. "Hey, these are really good!" 

"They're Natasha's favorite. When she can have carbs!" Alex laughed. "She got me addicted to them. It's one of the few things I can cook for myself, for days when this place is closed." In no time the mountain of fries was devoured. 

"Green down, Red down, what other colors do you have to show me tonight?" Mulder asked as they got back into the car. The car flipped a huge U-turn and headed back up Market. With the top down Mulder was able to enjoy the full view and cool night air. The car passed the entrance to the Castro again, and headed into Twin Peaks. Alex shifted the car into low, as it made its way up the winding streets to the top of the highest hill in San Francisco. High density housing dominated the streets until they approached the crest. Suddenly the hillsides were bare except for some huge communication towers. The area was virtually empty and Alex selected the best area before pulling the car to a stop. 

The two got out of the car. Mulder could not believe the view. The entire peninsula stretched below them. The lights glittered in every conceivable color. Roadways stretched in all directions, cutting the city into a gridwork of moving lights. Boats moved silently out on the bay, the only lights in the inky darkness of the water. The three major bridges in the area were alive with traffic, even at this late hour. Mulder looked to the west to see if he could see Alex's house from here, to find the fog starting to advance on the city. It was a incredible feeling being above the fog as it slowly curled it's way through the streets of the sleeping city below. Alex joined Mulder as he sat on the railing, dangling his feet over the dangerous drop below. He put his arm around him to keep him warm in the cool night air. Words didn't seem necessary. Alex felt Mulder start to shiver and said, "Let's get back into the car." 

"I don't want to leave yet," Mulder pleaded. 

"We don't have to leave," Alex replied. 

Alex closed the convertible top and the windows. Before switching on the car's heating system, he thought of a better way to heat things up. Mulder was still taking in the lights when he felt Alex's head in his lap. Before he could say a word, he felt the velvet wetness engulf him. As the windows in the car started to fog, the fog outside began to surround the car. Slowly the lights through the windows took on a watercolor-like effect before turning into a multi-color blur. Beads of moisture ran down the window and down Mulder's face as he approached the point of no return. 

He warned his partner, "Alex I'm getting close...." He hadn't expected Alex to stop. Alex pulled away, reaching for the back seat of the car. Pulling down the back seat, he reached into the car's trunk. He pulled out one of the towels and bottles of suntan lotion from earlier that day. Spreading the towel under Mulder, he reclined the passenger seat to it's limit. Alex was a blur as he quickly removed his shoes, pants and opened his shirt. Squirting a liberal amount of the coconut scented oil on his hand he slowly and rhythmically stroked Mulder's cock. Carefully he straddled him in the tight confines of the small sportscar. 

His hand stroked the rigid pole. "It feels totally different with that damn cockring on it," Alex said as he locked their lips together. Mulder felt Alex's weight press down as their bodies moved into position. He thrust his hips up slightly to make the entry easier. But nothing about this was going to be easy on Alex. As the head of his cock entered Alex's body, Mulder felt him bite down on his lip and whimper slightly. 

"Take it slowly, there's no rush," Mulder said through his imprisoned lip. 

"Fuck, it's too big now. I can't do this," Alex panted. But he could feel his body relaxing to the invasion, starting to welcome it. It seemed like it took hours for him to slide down the length of the shaft. But by the time he had reached bottom, he was ready. Their interlocked bodies began to move in unison. 

Mulder wasn't sure if it was the unexpected blowjob, the tight confines of the car and Alex, but he felt his orgasm approaching. "I'm not going to be able to last very long, babe, I'm sorry," Mulder apologized. 

Above him, Alex was slowly jacking his own cock. His shirt would fall open and closed with each movement. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead, and his breathing was restricted to heavy panting. His eyes were closed, and Mulder wondered what secret thoughts were running through his brain. Alex nodded to Mulder, he had heard his message, and sped up his own stroking to try to match their orgasms. 

Mulder felt his own eyes start to close as his orgasm began. He wanted to keep them open to watch Alex, he had never seen anything so beautiful, but it was impossible. He felt wave after wave pass through his body, as he ejaculated deeply into Alex's body. Above him, Alex's timing had been perfect. Mulder could feel the hot sprays as they hit his body. Alex's body dropped down onto Mulder's, his breathing was still labored. Mulder grabbed his face in his hand and kissed him. The salt of the sweat on them tasted good as they kissed. He wasn't sure which of them said, 'I love you' first. It really didn't matter. 

Sadly and slowly, the two got dressed. With one last kiss and one last look at the incredible sight below. the car headed for home. 

As they entered the bedroom, Alex's attention was drawn to the blinking indicator light on the answering machine. He tapped it in passing. But as soon as the frantic message started, it froze him in his step. 

Mulder couldn't understand the panicked flood of Russian as it pored from the machine. But he could tell that the message was bad the way all the color had drained from Alex's face. He slowly crossed the room and took the younger man in his arms. 

"Babe, what is it?" Mulder asked. The answer made his blood run cold. 

"It's Natasha's grandmother. Natasha never got home tonight. Mulder, she's been kidnapped," Alex translated. 

Mulder pulled Alex even closer as the shaking began. He could hear Alex saying something softly in Russian. Though he couldn't translate, he knew by the cadence of the words that he was praying. The sobs quickly followed. 

**Part III**

The brief glimpse of emotion did not last long, as Alex snapped out of his personal hell and went straight to anger. 

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me! God damn it!" He yelled at nothing in particular. 

Mulder realized that, as appealing as the offer was, it wasn't Alex's intention to be taken literally. "Alex, take it easy, we can get though all of this. All we just need to figure out what the best course of action is...." he said as soothingly as possible. 

Alex whirled on him and, for a split second, Mulder didn't recognize him. Then his features relaxed as he vocalized the thoughts swirling in his mind. "You don't see, do you? Everything—everything that I love, everything that I care about, is always taken away from me! I will never be happy. Not with you, not with Natasha. Nobody. Nowhere! It's a fucking curse, is what it is! I'm fucking cursed! I wish that someone would just put me out of my misery because I can't keep living like this! I just can't take it anymore." 

A chill ran down Mulder's spine as he heard the words. He thought fast. "Whoa there! I hate to break up this pity party. But here are the facts! We don't know what, if anything, has happened yet. Moreover, it's very presumptuous of you to think that you are the cause of what has happened." 

"I'm involved," Alex muttered. "I don't know how I know, but I do." His eyes locked on to Mulder's. 

The shrill buzzing of the phone made both of them jump. Mulder offered to answer the phone, figuring that Alex had more than his share of bad news for the night. Alex thanked him for his consideration, but crossed quickly to the handset. Mulder studied his lover's face as he spoke on the phone, silently bracing himself for whatever was coming next. 

Alex's face was a mask of stone. He was starting to recede from the carefree person that Mulder had come to know over the past few days to a darker earlier version of himself. Mulder's heart ripped in two as he watched the transformation taking place. He crossed over to the younger man and wrapped his arms around him in a futile attempt to delay the change from happening. Aside from answering the phone, Alex hadn't said another word. The call had been brief, less than a minute. The next sound was the receiver slamming back down. 

Mulder let him take his time. He knew that Alex would answer every question that was screaming in his mind at that moment. Finally he spoke. 

"I fucking hate being right all the time...I knew that this was going to involve me," he said with a tortured half-laugh. Mulder turned him so that he could see him face-to-face. He looked into Alex's tear streaked eyes, wanting him to continue. The green eyes that he knew so well were a hundred miles away, though. "What did they say...exactly?" he finally prodded. 

"Surrender Krycek. Be at the Banker's Heart tomorrow at noon if you ever want to see her alive again." He repeated the message verbatim. "The voice was electronically manipulated and I couldn't detect any background noises that would be of any help either. Sorry." 

Mulder felt a twinge of pride run through him as he saw Alex hadn't forsaken everything that he had learned at the bureau. 

"All right, we now know your cover is broken and Natasha is in trouble," Mulder tried to analyze the situation. "What's this reference to the Banker's Heart?" 

"It's a God awful modern art statue in the financial district. I'm not sure what the real name is. It's a huge black stone oval. Only natives call it the Banker's Heart. It's located right in the center of 'the canyons'-what the locals call the skyscraper-lined streets downtown. Anyone making an exchange in that area would be totally exposed and vulnerable. There are a hundred places to hide a sniper in those buildings," Alex explained as he crossed the room. Mulder than watched as he stepped into the Atrium, and wondered if Alex was losing it. Alex walked up to one of the huge mirrored plates of glass, he paused for a second to catch Mulder's worried look in the mirror and gave him a reassuring smile. 

"Special Agent William T. "Fox" Mulder," Alex said to his own reflection. Mulder thought for a second that Kycek was calling him, and then noticed that the huge pane of glass was moving. The unmistakable sounds of an electronic door opening followed. The wall hid a small room into which Alex walked into. Mulder was more than a little curious about what lay hidden behind the cleverly hidden door. The room took full advantage of the stone cliff the house was perched on, burrowing deep within the face. The room was cold and smelled of stale air. The lighting had been activated with the opening of the door. Mulder's mind refused to believe the messages being sent to it by his eyes. Almost lovingly arraigned along the walls of the stone cave, was a huge array of almost every conceivable gun, rifle, machine gun and knife. Boxes of various ammunition and bundles of several different countries' currency were also stored. 

"Holy shit, Alex! Are you planning on starting a war? I feel like I accidentally walked into Charlton Heston's rec-room," Mulder exclaimed. "The only thing missing is an anti-tank weapon! Babe, remind me never to piss you off." 

Alex kicked an olive-drab box on the floor, causing Mulder to look down. Stenciled across the wood, in unmistakable military writing was, "Surface to air, Light anti-tank Missile." "A LAW, I stand corrected, terrified and corrected. Do you have any idea just how many local, state, and federal laws are being broken here, no pun intended?" 

"If they want me to walk into a trap, then at least I'm going to give them a fight that they'll remember," Alex said as he selected a few of the weapons off the wall. "First of all, you're not going tomorrow, I not going to let you," Mulder told him. His words felt weak as he realized that he was the only person in the room who wasn't currently armed. "I'm going in your place. Once Natasha is released, I will give them the location where you can be found. And it won't be some shooting gallery trap of their choosing." 

"Mulder, I really appreciate the thought. But this is something that I have to do. Besides, I'm not going to let you put yourself in danger for me. I've lost 'Tasha, I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you too." His hand gently touched Mulder's face and for a second the kinder, gentler Krycek was back. 

"Follow me here," Mulder tried again. "Someone obviously knows who you really are. This whole scenario has 'trap' written all over it. They can't capture or kill you if you're not there." 

Mulder watched as options were being weighed in Krycek's mind. "Only on one condition, I will be with you somewhere in the area, in case anything goes wrong. Non-negotiable." 

Mulder nodded. 

"I like your password to get in here. I think that I could possibly remember that," Mulder joked. He watched as Alex turned a pale pink. "It's more than a password. It's VR voice recognition also..." He crossed over to a small console set into the wall and pressed a sequence of buttons. "Learn new user..." He then motioned at Mulder to say something. 

Mulder had been caught by surprise. He didn't know what to say, so he blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I love you, Alex." Alex smiled as the console chimed, "your new password has been stored and accepted, thank you." 

That night the two made love with an intensity they had never reached before. It was like both of them knew it might be their last chance to be together. After the exhausting exchange, sleep came easily and quickly for Mulder. 

Mulder awoke abruptly. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. He noticed that Alex was wide awake next to him, fully dressed, loaded and inspecting a high powered rifle. 

"Why did you let me sleep? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to crash on you." Mulder said groggily. 

"I didn't have the heart to wake you; we still have a couple of hours until noon. I didn't know when the next chance you might have would come..." Alex explained as he smoothed Mulder's hair down. "Besides, you looked so cute." 

Mulder was glad to see that some of Alex's sense of humor remained, but was worried about him nonetheless. "You haven't slept at all, have you?" 

"Can't, never have been able to before a big day," Alex explained. "You should see me before Christmas." 

"I'd like to. I really would like to be able to spend Christmas and other things with you. Are we ever going to get that chance?" Mulder asked, looking deep into Alex's far-away green eyes. 

"Someday, I hope," Alex answered. "Go get ready; we have some scouting to do." 

Mulder got ready in record time. He donned the suit that he hadn't worn since the night he had found Alex. It felt weird on him for some reason. He checked his reflection in the mirror. He looked the same as always. But, it still felt like the skin he was in was not his own. He wondered in passing if San Francisco could have had that quick an effect on him. Mulder would not take any of the weapons in the home's arsenal, opting only for his regulation Glock. He explained that if things didn't go well, the fact that he had an unregistered and untraceable weapon in his possession, would only complicate matters. It didn't complicate matters for Krycek, though, who deftly picked out another weapon to make up for Mulder's lack of one. 

The drive downtown was a quiet one. Both of the men were deep in their own thoughts. When they arrived at the destination, the car pulled to a stop. Mulder took a look around, to get his bearings. This didn't look like the financial district, it looked like Chinatown. 

Alex pointed down California Street. "The Banker's Heart is just down the street. It's a short walk or you can take one of the trolleys. I'll be nearby. Be careful." 

"Where will you be?" Mulder asked. "How will I find you after?" 

"It's better that you don't know," Alex answered. "And, I'll find you, hopefully both of you, when this is all over." 

"Take care of yourself, Alex, I mean that. Promise me you won't take any unnecessary chances," Mulder pleaded, hating the worried sound of his voice. 

"It's what I do best. You should know that by now." With a smile and a rev of the engine, the car was gone into the thick lunchtime traffic. 

Mulder started to walk down the steep incline of California Street. It wasn't too long until he heard the clanging of the trolley's bell and felt the vibrations through the soles of his shoes. He waited until the trolley car was even with him and jumped aboard. He could tell the operator was not happy with his unorthodox and dangerous move, until he flashed his badge. The operator went back to minding his route. 

Mulder kept his eyes open. He wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for, but assumed he would know it when he saw it. Then he spotted it. On a small plaza, at the top of a rise of steps, a huge black stone oval that sucked the life and color out of everything around it—the Banker's Heart. He jumped from the trolley not realizing how much speed it had picked up on its noisy journey down California Street. He had to take a few running steps to lose the momentum he had jumped with. The first order of business was to check the time. Next he scouted the entire plaza looking for anything out of the ordinary. There were a lot of suit and ties, and a few dresses, eating sandwiches under the shade of some sickly looking trees. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He looked around briefly at the towers that surrounded him. He wondered which one Alex was on top of, or inside of. Judging from the location of the plaza and the time of day, he would be readily able to pick it out, but didn't want to attract any attention in that direction. He made himself disappear into the sea of suits. At a few minutes until noon, he moved close to the sculpture. At noon, a parade of unmistakable government sedans pulled up to the plaza. Out of which came an unmistakable pack of government agents. They quickly set up a perimeter, and advanced menacingly up to Mulder. The rest of the crowd was more easily intimidated and cleared the plaza in moments. 

The lead agent had pulled his gun and was holding it pointing skyward as he drew closer. "Alex Krycek, I have a Federal warrant for your arrest. Please come peacefully and you won't be harmed..." 

Mulder stood up, and was very intimidated to see that the man still towered above him. For the briefest of seconds, Mulder saw the pure red light of a laser sight mark the taller man's heart. Then it was gone just like a firefly on a dark summer night. If Alex was sending him a message, it was getting through loud and clear. 

"Buzz! Wrong answer, but thanks for playing," he replied in his most smart ass way possible. "Care to tell me who the hell you are and why you are interfering with a kidnapping investigation, Slick?" 

Mulder's attitude had hit the right cord and taken the man completely by surprise. He composed himself enough to ask, "We're working on a tip from a reliable source that a wanted criminal would be here. Can I please see some identification, sir?" 

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours," Mulder answered with a huge smile at his own double entendre. The other agent was not so amused. Mulder realized that might, in some cases, does make right, and realized he had pushed his luck as far as he was going to be able to. He reached slowly into his breast pocket and pulled out his identification. 

Two of the local agents inspected it. "So what brings Washington all the way out to our coast, Special Agent Mulder?" 

"Can't tell you, sorry. Any questions or inquiries can be directed through the office of the assistant director," Mulder stalled, knowing that no matter what coast, paper work sucked and everyone hated it. It worked. The gang of agents reconned the plaza just as Mulder had done earlier. It gave Mulder a chance to check their cars for any sign of Natasha. His heart fell, when he didn't find any. The agents got back into their somber government vehicles, leaving one agent behind to wait for Krycek or watch Mulder. He wasn't sure which. Mulder walked up to the young man wearing designer sunglasses. He reminded Mulder of Alex when he first joined the bureau. "Hey, kid, can you tell me how to get to Chinatown?" 

The boy pointed up the street with a patient smile. Mulder waited for the next trolley, and left the area. He let the car take him on its entire circle. Jumping a cab, he asked the driver to take him to Pier 42. It would be one of the best places to get lost in a crowd. He wasn't lost long, though, as he felt Alex's welcome presence sneak up behind him. 

"Good job losing your tail," Alex complimented. Mulder was shocked. He wasn't even aware that he had been tailed. He wasn't going to let Alex know that though. 

"Alex, I'm sorry. She wasn't there. It was a trap. They wanted you, they had a Federal warrant," Mulder explained. 

"It was probably fake, even they wouldn't know it until long after they had turned me over," Alex explained. "We're still no better off than we were last night." 

"Wrong! We know that the kidnappers are local, they wanted to set you up to be captured, and they are playing us against the FBI," Mulder thought out loud. "What do they have to gain?" 

That was an easy one for Krycek to answer. "Reward. It has to be for a reward or bounty on me," Alex stated. "You wouldn't believe how much my ass is worth to other men out there, Mulder." 

The joke fell flat with Mulder. He hated seeing Alex take such a serious matter so flippantly. 

His next thought was interrupted by the shrill beep of Alex's cell phone. An uneasy look passed between them before Alex put the phone on intercom so that they both could hear. 

"Alex Krycek?" the mechanical voice asked. "You've been a bad boy, Alex Krycek. You have cost us lots of money." 

"Look you fucking bastard, if you think I'm dumb enough to walk into an obvious trap, you've got a lot to learn. I've used guys tougher than you for target practice. You are fucking with the wrong man, got it!" Alex yelled into the phone as he pulled the car over to the curb and killed the engine. "Your bargaining days are over, starting now. These are the new rules! This is what I want, my demands....You WILL deliver Natasha to me unharmed in one hour at the gun emplacement above and behind Fort Point at the Golden Gate Bridge. You will not be late. Whatever money you have been promised, I will match and double in cash. Deal's off if just one hair on her head is out of place. And mark my words, if anything has happened to her, I will hunt you down and kill you in the most excruciating way I can think of. We can all walk away from this alive, the choice is yours. Do you want to live or die? Now let me talk to Natasha...." 

The conversation had made Mulder's blood run cold. He knew what Krycek was capable of, and prayed silently that whoever was on the opposite end of the phone had the sense to realize it as well. He also silently mourned the passing of the Alex he had come to know over the past couple of days. 

There was a long silence on the phone, with what sounded like the start of several thoughts which were never fully vocalized. Finally, after a heavy sigh, the sounds of a scuffle could be heard. A new voice came over the phone line, and Mulder's heart took a huge jump for the first time that day. 

"Leave me alone, you fucking Neanderthal. If I wasn't tied up, I'd kick your balls through the top of your head... " Natasha hurled at her abductor. 

"Speak," the voice ordered. 

"Nicky? Is that you?" she asked, hope and stress filling her voice. 

"It's me," Alex answered. "We'll have you free real soon. Don't worry. Are you...okay?" 

"I'm all right, Nicky, tell my Grandmother that I love her and not to worry....Fuck off! I'm not through yet, you fucking jerk! Fuck off!" 

The remainder of the conversation disintegrated into an endless stream of cursing, some in English and most in Russian. The sound of a struggle could clearly be heard before the phone line suddenly died. 

Mulder looked over at Alex, and was surprised to see a huge smile lighting up his face. "Natasha, I love you! You beautiful, brilliant bitch! Yes!" Alex yelled, hitting the steering wheel of the car. His comment surprised Mulder. 

"You have to let me in on this, my Russian is a little rusty," Mulder queried. "It sounded like she got some good insults in there, what did she call him, anyway?" 

"Nothing too out of the ordinary," Alex said, the smile still lighting his face. "She just called him a nightclub car boy." 

It took Mulder just a few seconds to realize the importance of the message that Natasha had secretly sent them. His mind went immediately back to the night they had all met at the South of Market nightclub and the valet he had encountered there. It took him a few more moments to remember the name that went with the face in his mind. "Bryce!" Mulder said. "I knew there was something about that weasel." 

Alex had been proudly watching as the pieces came together in Mulder's head. He now smiled approvingly. "We always did make a good team, partner." he said, giving Mulder's leg a quick squeeze. He started the car and headed towards the Presidio. 

Mulder was surprised when Alex pulled up to the agreed upon location. "Aren't you forgetting something? Don't you need to find an ATM or go back to the house first?" he asked. 

"I keep enough in the car to buy off a small time punk like Bryce," Alex explained. "Besides, I need to be ready, if I needed to disappear or leave town really fast." 

He grabbed the cover on the cars console and pulled hard. The sound of Velcro and glue ripping filled the car. In the hidden space, was a small fortune in cut diamonds. 

"Hidden contraband, weapons, remind me not to take your car on any trips into Mexico," Mulder joked. 

Alex pocketed two on the small bags, before replacing the console cover. "Small, light, easy to carry, conceal, and sell, and almost totally untraceable," Alex said proudly. "Plus, they don't make the machines go off at international airports. They're more than a girl's best friend." 

"I haven't been shopping for diamonds lately. How much are they worth?" Mulder asked. 

"Black-market, $10,000, retail about $25,000 per bag, give or take a few thousand dollars," Alex explained. The stash remaining in the console could still buy a car dealership. "Grab your gun; I want to be real familiar with this area before they get here." 

The two had barely circled the area, when a new car joined them. It took an eternity before the driver's side door opened and two people got out. A gun was held on them while Natasha struggled stubbornly. 

"Back up!" Bryce ordered. "Get into the trees. The less witnesses the better." 

Without taking their eyes off one another, the foursome walked into the tree-line until the steep terrain wouldn't let then go any further. 

Krycek broke the silence. Keeping his voice calm and gentle, he slightly lowered his gun. "Look, there's no need for anyone to get hurt here today, I have what you want right here...." 

He had said the absolute wrong thing, and his words set Bryce off. 

"What I want?! What I want! What the hell would you know about what I want? That's a fucking joke, Nick—Or whatever the hell your real name is! If we all had what we wanted, then you would be with me, not him!" He spat out. "Why him? What the hell does he have that I don't? I tried so hard to get your attention, Nick, Alex, whatever the hell your real name is. Couldn't you see that all I ever wanted was you..." The final words came out in a choked whisper. Desperation and pain filled his eyes. 

Krycek lowered his guard and his weapon and took a step closer to Natasha. The look that passed between the two spoke volumes and Alex could see her relax slightly. The strain of this ordeal was taking a heavy toll on her though. 

"I'm sorry that I've hurt you," Krycek purred. Mulder did a double take. That was probably the first time he had heard those words come from Alex's mouth. The stakes must really be high, he thought to himself. "Mulder and I have a history that's all," he continued, while easing forward another fraction of an inch. Placing himself in a precarious position between a loaded gun and the sheer cliff face. Unlike the parking area, there were no guardrails here, just a steep two hundred foot drop to Fort Point and the breakers below. "Here take these. They're diamonds, the best quality available anywhere. You can make a brand new start anywhere you want. We can all forget about this. Nobody needs to get hurt here. Just take these and go, we won't stop you." Krycek let the diamonds slide around in his palm. The tiny gems sparkled like fire in the afternoon sun. 

Krycek wasn't prepared for the blow as Bryce's gun hit his hand from below. The stones flew into his face, and he felt himself falling backwards. Then, there was nothing but air. He abandoned his gun and the diamonds in an all out attempt to grab anything that would keep him from going over the cliff. 

"Hurt! You don't know anything about hurt! But you will by the time that I'm through with you," the kidnapper screamed. He renewed his grip on Natasha and started to back towards the parking lot. He locked eyes with Mulder and the smile on his face was pure evil. "Looks like you have a choice to make, G-man. Who are you going to chose, him or her? Who's going to live, and who's gonna die? Can't have both. Tick-tock, time's running out." 

Mulder's mind screamed. His gun was locked on Bryce. But, he couldn't take the shot without risking Natasha. Krycek was at his feet, just barely holding on. Mulder could hear him whisper, "Don't worry about me, get Natasha." But there was something in his tone that Mulder knew was off. He could hear the fear in Krycek's voice. As he dropped to grab Krycek, he heard a final taunt as the gunman closed his car door. "I guess you really do love him." Natasha's screams were drowned out by the sound of the car's engine roaring to life. 

Laying flat on the dusty ground, Murder grasped Krycek's arm and pulled hard. The two locked eyes and Mulder expected an outburst when Krycek reached the safety of the ledge again. When he was standing on firm ground again, Krycek just dusted himself off, picked up his gun and the diamonds that could still be easily found. "Thanks!" was the only thing he said as he raced for the car. Mulder had seen his eyes though. The coldness had returned. He hadn't seen them this hard since their reunion, but now the coldness was back. Mulder hated to see it back. A part of his heart broke, seeing that look come back into his lover's eyes. 

The car roared into life and took off like a wolf in pursuit through the California hills. 

Traffic laws were ignored, twisted, and butchered, as the black sports car strained to close the gap. The sun was starting to set, and the fog was starting to creep into the city for the night. 

The lead car made a last minute desperate turn onto Divisidero, and floored the gas up the series of steep hills. It was a bad move and allowed Krycek's more powerful car to soon overtake them. 

"Can you get a shot?" Krycek asked. "Go for the tires." 

Mulder tried, but the uneven terrain was playing havoc with his aim. Half his shots were hitting the pavement and the other half the car's fenders. Time and roadway were quickly running out. The car crested the final hill on Divisidero, where it drops suddenly down to Market and entered the Castro. Mulder's heart stopped. He had forgotten that it was Halloween night. The barricades were already up and the throng of thousands had already started to gather in the streets. "Oh my fucking God. He's not going to stop! He's going to plow right into the crowd," Mulder yelled. 

"Grab the wheel!" Krycek yelled. Mulder jumped across the car, and tried to keep the vehicle in some kind of control. Krycek jumped up on the driver's seat and took aim. Mulder's mind was doing somersaults, "Jesus, Alex, are you trying to get killed? Get your ass down here." He desperately tried to get his foot across to the brake pedal. The car had to still be doing about 50 on the narrow, crowded city streets. He used one hand to steer the car and the other to try to keep a hold of Alex. At the last second, Bryce hit his brakes throwing his car into a spin. The crowd split in several directions. The car now raced back up the hill straight for Krycek and Mulder. Shots thundered out from both vehicles, and the already frightened crowd panicked. Mulder was too busy trying to bring Alex's car to a safe stop, that he never saw the windshield explode on the oncoming car. But, he heard the screech of the tires and the sickening crash as it turned sharply and smashed into a bank building set on the corner. Krycek was already out of the car and running. There was only one person left alive in the mangled wreckage. He pulled the limp body from the car, and carried it back to his. "It's going to be okay, Natasha. It's going to be okay. It's all over. Just hold on." He turned to Mulder. "Mulder, two blocks back up this road, there's a hospital. Go, Go! 

"When we get to the hospital, you're in charge of getting 'Tash admitted," Krycek ordered. 

"Where are you going to be?" Mulder asked. 

"I going to let Natasha's Grandmother know where she is and that she's going to be okay," Krycek explained. "I'll meet you at the house later. Besides, there's always too many questions at hospitals. Your badge should be able to do away with most of them." 

**Postscript**

It had taken forever at the hospital, but by the time Mulder had left, Natasha was in stable and satisfactory condition. The hospital wanted to hold her for a few days for observation, none the less. Mulder was still present when Natasha's Grandmother arrived. She showered him with kisses, and was surprised not to see Alex in attendance. Mulder lied, saying that Alex was answering some of the questions the police had. Inside, his heart sank. There would be lots of questions now, and Alex wasn't the answering kind. He wondered what he would find when he got back to the house. Would Alex be there, or would he already have pulled one of his disappearing acts? The strong sense of dread stayed with him, until the taxi pulled up to the gate. Without any hesitation, the gate swung open and Alex bounded down the stairs. He had a million questions, and Mulder tried to answer them all as thoroughly as possible. 

When Alex was done, though, Mulder had a question of his own. "What's going to happen now, Alex? There's a dead body down on Market Street. The police are probably already looking for the shooter...." 

Alex paused for a moment before answering the question. "I didn't shoot him, Mulder." 

"Alex, I heard all the shots, I saw his body...What are you taking about?" Mulder argued, wondering if Alex was in some sort of denial. 

"Three shots—the tire, the windshield, and the mechanism in the steering wheel for the driver's airbag. I guess you could technically say that I killed him, but I never shot him. Besides, the special rounds that I used fragmented on impact. It would be almost impossible to find a shard big enough to be of any use." 

Mulder's mind was trying to fathom the skill it would take to make the three miracle shots Krycek had described. It was impossible, wasn't it? And to make them from an unsupported standing position from a rapidly moving car. It boggled his mind. He started to argue the point, but one look into Krycek's eyes told him that he would lose that argument. He let Krycek push him gently into the house and close the door. 

Their lovemaking had a frantic feel to it tonight. Afterwards they collapsed in a tangled heap on the bed, falling asleep in each other's arms. It was a tortured sleep, though, and Mulder soon re-awoke. He found himself being studied by Alex, who tousled his hair and gave him a huge smile. "Aloha, my love." 

Mulder was still groggy, and the strange words coming from Alex were not helping. "Aloha? What do you mean? What are you taking about, Alex?" 

"It's a great word—Aloha. Did you know that it means 'I love you,' 'hello' and 'goodbye'? All words should be so cool, don't you think?" 

Mulder let the soothing words and calming touch relax him back to sleep. In the morning he awoke again, this time to find Alex nowhere to be found. He had expected it this time. But expecting it did not make it any easier. But this time, he had Natasha and her Grandmother to share his pain. He felt sorry for 'Tasha, it would be really hard on her. But they would get through it together. 

He was almost ecstatic when he found the short note attached to the Tiki God as he was getting dressed. 

"I'm not big on good-byes as you should know by now. Find me, Mulder. You did it once; I know that you can do it again. I have faith in you. Just remember the VERY LAST thing I told you last night. Tell Natasha and her Grandmother take care of our house until we can all be together again. All my love, Always, Alex." 

Cryptic as usual! Mulder tried to make sense of it. Remember the last thing I said to you last night. Then it all made sense. He laughed hard and pulled the door shut behind him. He had never been to Hawaii. If he played his cards right, maybe he could be out there by Christmas. Alex had promises to keep, after all. As he waited for the cab to the airport, he hummed an old song he hadn't thought of in years. 

"Mele kalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day, That's the island greeting that we send your way from the land where palm trees sway..." 

Mulder smiled. 

-The End-

**Author's Note:**

> My Heart's in San Francisco by AgentAlexKrycek  
> Pairing: Mulder/Krycek  
> Rating: NC-17 M/M Slash  
> Disclaimer: The characters of the television show "The X-Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the Fox Broadcasting Network, and have been used here without permission for adult entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words, stop reading here if you don't have a sense of humor.  
> Timeframe: Follows the action in the "Anazazi".  
> Feedback: Feedback is eagerly sought, but please be gentle and constructive. Please send any positive or constructive feedback to the address above.  
> Author's notes: Word and Music Credit for "He's The Greatest Dancer" goes to Sister Sledge.  
> Credit to Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Really Useful Company for the song "No Matter What"; Alain Boublil Music Lmt./Faber Music credit for both "On My Own," and "I Dreamed a Dream"; And for San Francisco author Armistead Maupin, who originated the idea of "the New Atlantis" in his wonderful series "Tales of the City." And, of course, to the real Nick (Joey Stefano) Iacona and Kirstin (and the Russian Dancers) who inspired me and will have my eternal love.  
> Special thanks—To Francis, Troy, Stephanie, the real Nick and Christine upon whom all this is based. Thank you for all the adventures! I will always love you. Nicky, thanks for teaching me that the saddest words in the human language are 'could have and should have.' Your legend lives on.


End file.
